Wednesday, June 5, 2013

My Diary

On my Facelessbook page (of which you are all welcome to join me on) I have been writing silly comments and views on either what happens in my life or my views on certain things.

They seem to garner a certain amount of interest from people very much like yourselves; people who like their views with a skewed twist of an abnormal mind; namely mine!

So I thought that I could make this a regular post on my blog, maybe make it a mid week thing, something to split the week up with.

We already have a regular weekly feature for my cartoon side with Brabbles & Boggitt so why not a regular for my writing, and seeing as this is meant to be a diary, what could be better than my thoughts on what's not only happening to me but how I view the oddities of the world around me.

So starting this week here's a few choice bits from the past week to get you started:

My mate Steve coming out from the bushes just like
the classic big foot image
May 13 2012

As the excitement grew at the Carlow Rally in Ireland, all eyes pregnant with expectancy, were held fast onto the corner where the cars were about to arrive in a glare of bright colours and plumes of burning rubber.
Silence held its breath in the cool still air, expectancy and a tingling agitation rippled through the crowd of race fans when suddenly there was a rustling in the bushes and the Carlow Big Foot broke cover. 

He held still, jaws dropped and one lone camera whirred into involuntary action.

No one moved, the Carlow Bigfoot sniffed the air and disappeared in the direction of a burger van.

May 30 2013

The phone rings, I pick it up, they immediately tell me the call is recorded and demand my name and address. I say no, they say why? I say why should I, I don't know you. They say if you give us your name and address we'll tell you, I say are you selling anything? They say we can't tell you unless you give us your name and address, I say what lousy salesmen they are, they say Oh, and what would you know about selling?, I say well quite a lot actually as I am a salesman, there's a brief pause, he has one more crack at getting my address off me, I stand firm and resolute in my refusal, he mutters screw you in Arabic then slams the phone I'm left thinking have I just been approached by  Al Qaeda's Double Glazing Division.

31 May 2013

My grandson was here today and he's at that stage where he questions everything you say and do...I think he has an over active 'why' chromosome

1 June 3013

I've been out on a wander today. Had a lovely, nay, spectacular walk around the hills by Llangorse but you very nearly didn't have these photos due to my re occurring problem: I stopped for lunch, put my phone down next to me, had my sandwiches, cracked out the kindle, started reading, within ten minutes I was fast asleep and snoring. 

I was woken by a family of startled liberals who were averting their children's eyes, as I had fallen asleep in such a way that when I awoke my legs were parted in an alluring come hither-to fashion. 

I jumped up with a snork of alarm, grabbed my bag of goodies and shot off, only to have to come slinking back a few minutes to retrieve my phone, which I had forgotten. Trouble was the morally outraged liberals were now in residence...awkward times.

3 June 2013

The government has just paid out £400,000 to a Welsh artist to show his art in Vienna. 

Needless to say he isn't an artist, he just has an earring, a grubby jumper and fingers stained from too many roll ups. His piece of garbage is an observatory with the sound of a grown man crying. I think it should be renamed. The tears of a tax payer...that's £400,000 we'll never see again....oh and on a post script the minister who sanctioned this joke said he believed it would make people want to come and see Wales and learn more...HOW WILL THAT EVER WORK!!!!!!???!!!!

I'm going to stop doing the lottery and start applying for arts grants...seems like the odds are better for getting paid a shed load of money for doing nothing...but then I can actually draw so they wouldn't be interested in me would they?

4 June 2013

Well here's a first: the phone rings,I answer it and a gentleman of middle eastern origin--- professing to be someone called Anthony--- asks if I'm Mrs Dixon. I say do I sound like a Mrs? and he hangs up on me!!! 

I've never had a call centre parasite hang up on me before. So far as I know their remit has always been to ring you at the most inopportune moment, mispronounce your name, annoy the hell out of you, get abused and have the phone slammed down on them with the words 'bloody customer preference scheme' still ringing in their ears.

Perhaps this is a new direction for them, perhaps they're going to ring us and when we answer they'll slam the phone down making us ring them back to find out what the hell just happened here, only to have them sell something to us in our new, weakened state of curiosity.

Warning: beware of Arabs bearing the name Anthony....its a trap folks!.

Hope you like the idea. Keep coming back and will keep posting...oh and a new project has just crested the wave of my imagination and is about to tip over onto the shores of my drawing board. More about that within the week plus more news about Sleepy Hamlet and another snippet from the book.

So much is bubbling beneath the surface of both my writing and drawing world so please keep coming back here to find out about it first right here on the Diary of a Cartoonist and Writer.

If you like my blog and the things that I say and do, please tell your friends; mention me on Facebook, Twitter and any of the other fine social media networking sites you use. I would love to have my work reach a much larger audience and although I could no doubt eventually get there under my own steam, I'll get there a lot quicker with your help, so please, please spread the word.

Thank you

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