Once again we delve into my weird Facelessbook Ramblings; I've also added some Twitter twaddle to, and a comic strip at the end...
Enjoy!
June 22
Just been driving through Llyswen, a little village outside Brecon, when I saw a group of pensioners being bundled into the back of a transit van; seriously, I thought, OAP trafficking...surely not?!
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I just came in from hanging the washing out when I heard a faint squeaking sound, coming from somewhere near my feet. I looked, saw nothing and turned to move away when I heard the sound again. I turned and looked more closely. But still I found nothing.
It was only when I heard it a third time that I got more than a little concerned. Was it a little vole or mouse lost and frightened. Had an abandoned baby bird got caught in the undergrowth?
I moved closer with scrutiny etched on my worried features and as I did so I heard the squeaking sound again and it definitely came from around my feet. And as I bent down lower I saw a tiny hole in my trainers and every time I moved it sent a little pocket of wheezing, bubbling air out of my shoe making a little squeaking sound.
That's my Saturday, hows yours been?
It was only when I heard it a third time that I got more than a little concerned. Was it a little vole or mouse lost and frightened. Had an abandoned baby bird got caught in the undergrowth?
I moved closer with scrutiny etched on my worried features and as I did so I heard the squeaking sound again and it definitely came from around my feet. And as I bent down lower I saw a tiny hole in my trainers and every time I moved it sent a little pocket of wheezing, bubbling air out of my shoe making a little squeaking sound.
That's my Saturday, hows yours been?
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Well its summer time so Sky have put a Little House on the Prairie Christmas special on.
Something worth noting: the kids opened their presents and went whacko over a shiny new penny and a pair of mittens...lets all try that this year and see how far our kids let us get with a happy Christmas.
Something worth noting: the kids opened their presents and went whacko over a shiny new penny and a pair of mittens...lets all try that this year and see how far our kids let us get with a happy Christmas.
June 23
Okay, update on the whole 'Little House on the Prairie' thing. A warring Indian has just come into their cabin house with an interpreter. He says he will speak for the chief. The chief says:
"Horo mon happ"
The interpretor says:
Big Chief Featherinhiscap say: he is proud warrior chief of the grazing lands of great buffalo of ancestors. He say many years he wandered over the snow capped mountains of the forefathers and many a battle he has had with the long knives and yellow beards, and pipe of peace smoked with fork tongues but now it is time to settle, now it is time to join his kin in the reservations, now it is time for peace" And I think he even chucked a 'How' in at the end...
I was just looking open mouthed thinking: if he got all that from; 'Horo mon happ' I can only guess that the Apache translation of Lord of the Rings is like about 16 pages long, and that’s with the 'bit about the author'
"Horo mon happ"
The interpretor says:
Big Chief Featherinhiscap say: he is proud warrior chief of the grazing lands of great buffalo of ancestors. He say many years he wandered over the snow capped mountains of the forefathers and many a battle he has had with the long knives and yellow beards, and pipe of peace smoked with fork tongues but now it is time to settle, now it is time to join his kin in the reservations, now it is time for peace" And I think he even chucked a 'How' in at the end...
I was just looking open mouthed thinking: if he got all that from; 'Horo mon happ' I can only guess that the Apache translation of Lord of the Rings is like about 16 pages long, and that’s with the 'bit about the author'
June 24
Stumbled out of my bedroom this morning to find my car keys on the landing---they must've fallen out of my pocket on the way to bed last night.
But the weird thing was a spider had attached a strand of web to them and appeared to be trying to drag the keys off.
Now I don't like spiders, and as a rule when I see them I either scream like a girlie or beat them with unholy and disproportionate force, but the sight of one trying to have it away with my car keys is not something you see everyday, so I watched a little longer.
After ten minutes I was still not sure what it was trying to do or even if its intentions were to get to my car, and with the aid of a few more delinquent spiders, go for a joy ride: my estimate would be the'd need at least six. Two to steer, three to operate the pedals and one with a very strong thread to shift the gears.
I watched for another five minutes, got board, used unholy and disproportionate force on him and buggered off down stairs to soak my cornflakes.
I haven't checked the car yet to see if the others were already in place--- and just waiting for the keys--- but now I think of it, they may have got tired of waiting and just hot wired my car. I'm just worried that my car may have been stolen by five spiders and how I'm going to explain that one to the police.
But the weird thing was a spider had attached a strand of web to them and appeared to be trying to drag the keys off.
Now I don't like spiders, and as a rule when I see them I either scream like a girlie or beat them with unholy and disproportionate force, but the sight of one trying to have it away with my car keys is not something you see everyday, so I watched a little longer.
After ten minutes I was still not sure what it was trying to do or even if its intentions were to get to my car, and with the aid of a few more delinquent spiders, go for a joy ride: my estimate would be the'd need at least six. Two to steer, three to operate the pedals and one with a very strong thread to shift the gears.
I watched for another five minutes, got board, used unholy and disproportionate force on him and buggered off down stairs to soak my cornflakes.
I haven't checked the car yet to see if the others were already in place--- and just waiting for the keys--- but now I think of it, they may have got tired of waiting and just hot wired my car. I'm just worried that my car may have been stolen by five spiders and how I'm going to explain that one to the police.
June 26
Just found out I've got Tennis Elbow in Wimbledon fortnight...the irony is not lost on me...Mind you I was also diagnosed with Beer Drinkers' Elbow at the Munich Beer Festival
Random Twitter Twaddle:
'I've got an eye test tomorrow; I just know I'm going to be up all night cramming for it.'
'When relief comes into your life it is transitory, when frustration arrives it brings suitcases and takes over the left wing of your mind'
'Things not to say to a customs official: Is this a gun in my pocket or am I just happy to see you. I still can't walk straight'
'What is food for thought? I'm having a cheese sandwich, but I have to admit I'm not getting any great ideas just yet. Perhaps it needs mayo'
'Further to my last tweet: What is 'food for thought' and does it come with a low fat option?'
'I'm off to bed to see if my dreams are any weirder than the one last night. That involved a black nurse a 4 inch guy and a butter-nut squash'
'Its free comic day today. Apparently no one told Forbidden Planet this and they chased me for three blocks before getting their comic back'
'If love is blind how come you can't get a disability allowance for it?'
If I have another odd week---which lets face it is a distinct possibility---I'll do more of these next week...Oh and I thought I'd throw a random comic strip in just for the hell of it!
I'm so good to you.
If you like my blog and the things that I say and do, please tell your friends; mention me on Facebook, Twitter and any of the other fine social media networking sites you use. I would love to have my work reach a much larger audience and although I could no doubt eventually get there under my own steam, I'll get there a lot quicker with your help, so please, please spread the word.
Thank you
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